“Let’s see how far we’ve come…”

-Title of post from the song “How Far We’ve Come” by Matchbox Twenty

In the beginning of this year, I made a post about all the things I wanted to change this year.

Here’s the list for easy reference, though, if you don’t want to read the whole post:

It’s time to get my health under control. My blood pressure has soared with the stress of this past year and my doctor is concerned. I’m concerned. I’m working on it, but I need to do more than take my medicine as directed. Things like:

  • meditation
  • push myself and my students more in classes
  • eating better – which will likely be it’s own post
  • dancing, moving more, and stretching every damn day
  • Finding healthier ways to deal with my anxiety and depression, even if it means meds again
  • reach out to friends and loved ones for emotional support instead of bottling

I want to be more creative this year. As such, I’m going to:

  • Play my ukulele more – I’ve already begun to learn a new song!
  • Sing more
  • Write more fiction
  • Finish at least the first draft edit of my book
  • burlesque and dancing
  • force myself to learn to use the awesome gift my husband gave me last year, with the awesome gift he gave me this year.
  • Read 27 books in a year and write at least a small review about each. I did Cannonball Read in 2013 and actually made it to 52 books and reviews in a year (!) That was incredibly stressful (but still awesome) so I’m going for a half Cannonball which is technically 26 but I’m going +1 because I don’t like even numbers.
  • Post a blog once a week. Which, technically,the Cannonball Read takes care of half of that, if I want it to.

My body craves D/s and sex and attention and receiving ASMR. Therefore, I plan to:

  • Reach out to more people locally and regionally
  • Ask for what I’m interested in
  • Rejoin the local kink scene
  • Be clearer about what I want out of date nights
  • Seek out casual play at events
  • Try to afford regular massages. “Regular” might mean every few months, but still
  • If not always massages, pedicures. Never knew how much I loved pedicures until my sister introduced me to the wonders. So good. And toes so pretty!
  • Find friends who want to read to me for ASMRing. One dear friend did this at GKE last year while another gave me a massage. That was close to bliss, aside from the pain that was being worked out of my lower back.

So that’s a lot. On the plus side, I’ve been making progress. My blood pressure was actually normal when the EMTs took it at SPWF in May. And I’ll be getting blood work done in about a month so I can see if it’s stayed that way.

I haven’t meditated like I planned to, but I’m starting to now. A friend even sent me a book I’m halfway through that talks about how you can rewire your brain through meditation.

I have pushed myself and my students more in my classes, I am eating better, finding healthier ways to deal with depression and anxiety, and starting to reach out to friends and loved ones for support instead of bottling. Those things are good!

But. I have not been exercising outside of class nor stretching and I really, really need to get my ass up more regularly instead of sitting in front of my damn computer all day. Granted, I work in front of a computer, but I also can set my own schedule, so there’s no excuse not to get up and schedule in some exercise and stretching. I’m also not dancing much at all. Which plays in the the next section.

Cause I am not keeping up with burlesque and dancing the way I wanted to. Haven’t played my uke since January but I definitely HAVE been singing and writing more fiction. So that’s good. Have not touched my book so there’s been no editing. Nor have I attempted to try to learn the gift my husband got me. Well on my way for half a Cannonball for Cannonball Read 8. Though I am a few books behind where I should be right now, I’m still doing it. But I have actually been blogging just about every week, so that’s good.

Then we come to the D/s, sex, attention, ASMR section.

Man, I never saw half of what’s going on in my life happening way back in January.

First thing I wrote was that I wanted to reach out to more people regionally and locally. That’s a big ol’ check, as is rejoin the local kink scene. As is, for the most part, asking for what I’m interested in. It’s not going all that well with sex for various reasons, but I’m patient. And masturbation is fun.

Being clearer about what I want out of date nights has been a mixed experiment. As has seeking out casual play at events. I’ve gone to kinky college and to the two night Sample Your Fantasy nights, and got some play there. I also had an impromptu hair scene with a friend. That was cool. So I’ve gotten some casual play and a singularly brilliant instance of not entirely casual play. Overall, though…not a lot. I will try to rectify this in the coming months.

The massages haven’t happened at all, but I did get 3 pedicures this year and they were phenomenal.

Finally, no love with the ASMR. But thankfully I do have YouTube.


Moving forward into the rest of the year, my goals are to keep doing what I’m doing well and to work more on these things:

  • Meditation
  • Cutting carbs from my diet
  • Exercising and stretching every day
  • UKE, dammit
  • Finish first draft edit of my book
  • Burlesque
  • Be clearer about date nights
  • Focus more on s-type journey
  • Radical honesty and communication, even when I’m scared
  • And also…there are a few things I need to Adult about. So those things.

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