No, really. This week, I read some scientific studies about what happens to your brain during certain activities and there’s a term that I feel describes what happens to me and others when they’re in a submissive state (or “dropped”, as it’s sometimes described).
It’s called transient hypofrontality, and it’s my new favorite phrase. There’s a very cool study that I found linked to from a post on Fet. But for me (someone who’s not a neuroscientist) the most relate-able article I found is this one from BigThink talking about how your brain works better when it gets into a “flow state” and slows down. This part in particular strikes a harmonic, resonant chord in me:
When we experience transient hypofrontality, we lose the ability to assess past, present, and future. As Kotler explains it, “we’re plunged into what researchers call the deep now.”
The. Deep. NOW.
This is what I’m always after with kink. It’s the one of the few things in the world that I can share with another person and, when certain conditions and relationships are there, fully immerses me in the deep now. I’ve previously tried describing it as “all the noise in my brain shuts off and I feel the most ME, the most centered, the clearest.” It’s paradoxical, because it’s also an impaired type of state where I also feel slightly foggy coming out of it, but…it’s just so much clearer. It’s a huge part of why I feel so closely rooted in submission; that’s both the quickest way for me to get there and it’s a pathway to this place with another person. I can do it myself with music, and sometimes I can share that experience with another person, but to have it strip everything away, and cut to my core and find that clarity, nothing, nothing does that like submission does.
I think this is also part of why it’s always harder for me to lose a D-type relationship than it is to a primarily romantic and/or sexual one. I don’t relate as deeply to those things as I do kink. I’m a gray ace and possibly a gray aro, but I am thoroughly and fully kink-oriented. Above sex and romance, kink is my primary drive.
Not quite sure exactly what to do with this info right now, as I’m not looking for any new kink connections at the moment and I’m very slowly beginning to bring kink back into my life, but it feels amazing to finally have some recognized, respected scientific language to help me understand myself better and communicate that to others.